Looking back

Looking back at the road so far

The journey’s left its share of scars

Mostly from leaving the narrow and straight
Looking back it’s clear to me

That a man is more than the sum of his deeds

And how you’ve made good of this mess I’ve made

Is a profound mystery
Looking back you know

You had to bring me through

All that I was so afraid of

Though I questioned the sky,

now I see why
I had to walk the rocks to see the mountain view

Looking back I see the lead of love
Looking back I can finally see

How failures bring humility

(I’d rather have wisdom and pain)

Brings me to my knees

(Than be a comfortable old fool)

Helps me see my need for Thee
Looking back you know

You had to bring me through

All that I was so afraid of

Though I questioned the sky,

now I see why
I had to walk the rocks to see the mountain view

Looking back I see the lead of love

These are the lyrics for Caedmons Call's song Lead of Love. I heard this song for the first time recently and, like Jars of Clay's Love Song for a Savior (which is a whole entry in itself,) this song is a piercingly accurate representation of my life over the last couple of years. people who know me know some of the struggles i have gone through since starting high school. now, looking back, i am starting to see God's wonderful plan unfolding in my life in ways that could never have been part of my own design. The line that especially reaches me is in bold; "I had to walk the rocks to see the mountain view." if God had not brought me through all of the struggles in my life, and did not still, i would not be nearly as close to him. and through my struggles He is strengthening my faith, to know that He is preparing me for His service and to bring Him more and more glory in my life. I now have a joy in Him that could only be a result of, among other things, seeing His handiwork in my life. Now i want to boast in my trials, if only that others might see His grace working in me. Like Jars of Clay sings in their song Art in Me,

In your picture book I'm trying hard to see

Turning endless pages of this tragedy

Sculpting every move you compose a symphony

You plead to everyone, "see the art in me"

It is also ironic that the song would speak of seeing the mountain view, since, God willing, after the struggle of getting through high school i will go to Covenant College, which is situated on a mountain.

My "mountain view," to be seen in God's time, after walking many rocks

Lack of postage

I am going to make a short, VERY compact summary that will probably serve as merely a quick intro for later posts concerning the various aspects of my AWSOME summer. for one, STEP, that was an unbelievably rewarding experiance. the things i learned i pray fervently i will not forget, and not only not forget, but give away. by which i mean i pray that i will put into practice all of the things God has done for me this summer through not only STEP but also convention and even a simple visit to a college. i was making a conection last night between what God is doing in my life right now and the name of the most recent CD of the group Caedmon's call. their CD is entitled "Share the Well," which they explain is related to a well ( i think in India) where two little girls sat with an empty cup, waiting for someone to fill it up for them. all day they waited and no one filled their cup.
God's incredible work in my life, and the utter joy I have been given in Him, is like that well. and it is overflowing. this is not only in my life, but in all of ours. how can we truely apreciate and make the best of this well? we have to share it. we are surrounded by dehydrated people dying for joy and grace and God has given us the great comission of sharing the well.
i shall post more later, which will God willing, include pictures. much love and until later, share the well.